Dear Daddy

 It’s been a long time since we have spoken to each other.

You’re gone for years by now and there are still moments when I miss you dearly.

 Not every day but sometimes, it’s right that time heals but often I wish we could have a talk.

 When I think of you these days than mostly remember your smile, a warm but always a bit

boyish. When you smiled or laughed there were always this beautiful sparkles in your eyes.

You were an attractive man with your dark curly hair and the crispy voice.

you were a politician and it was always easy  for you to deal with women a little bit too easy….

I guess it wasn’t always nice and smoothly to be your wife.

But I remember your smile in the best possible way.it was your way to thank me or to tell me

that you were proud of me.

I was so often very proud of you .you were a very charismatic man and in public you were

the man who lead the crowd. At home you showed a different face because you had to deal with uncertainty   

and a slight depression.

 I don t know why you felt that way because you were educated the old fashioned way that a man doesn't talk about feelings very much.

  Unfortunately you educated me the same way. Outside the charming Darling and inside….is nobody else’s business. That can be problematic, to hide or repress your feelings can make you lonely or

you give every time the impression everything is cool and nothing really bothers you but that’s unnatural.

It was a hard lesson to learn because you need to re-educate yourself and you have to go step by step forward to trust people. You need patient friendsJ

 Daddy I wish you had been able to do the same but you went your way and you had to do.

We had a few deep talks during your last years and I was sure we could build up on that but we simply hadn't enough time , you died soon after our last great talk where we really got closer to each other.

I remember whenever we had guests we could be sure you would find a way to talk about London

the big love in your life and the only thing you were fiercely excited about.

I was every time horribly bored about your stories and the fact that your greatest wish was to show me your London scared me more than it impressed me, I had zero interest in a trip to the UK.

  Then you died and two months later I went on my first trip to London, why?? Good question maybe

I was hoping to be nearer to your dreams and hopes there. I wanted to understand you.

I remember as if it were yesterday. I arrived at Waterloo station saw a cab outside and an older

man smiled reserved but nice when I passed him and it felt like homecoming.

I felt free and explored a complete new site of myself there and luckily that feeling never left me.

And till today I feel I am close to you sitting at Tower Bridge watching the boats on the River Thames

and thinking your soul and spirit is back in London the city you always loved.

I truly hope you having a fabulous time Dad.

source cityguide.com